Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Updates: In Which I Hypothesize Serial Killings

Pardon our rust while we yawn and stretch out after our hiatus. You see, RAWRCATZ!, if anything, enjoy a good nap. While slipping into a summer long coma was not in the cards, you'll forgive us if we take a little bit to get back into the face-clawing.

So, news of note since we've been AWOL:

- Taylor Price was drafted 90th overall by the New England Patriots after what is the culmination of one of the most decorated RAWRCATZ! careers of all time. He finishes 1st all time in receptions, 2nd in yards and 2nd in touchdowns. He'll probably displace Randy Moss as the go to guy in an offense that is full of them. By week 10 they'll be calling him "Touchdown Taylor Price" up in Beantown.

He'll look good in Foxborough, but not as good as he did rocking the dead sexy Green and White of his yesteryear.

- The mighty RAWRCATZ! basketball team won not only the MAC tournament title, but then eviscerated #3 seed Georgetown in the first round of the NCAA tournament. Nobody gave the hardcourt RAWRCATZ! much of a chance, but a pregame speech by none other than Frank Solich (we presume) spurred our claw-toed brethren to victory over the HoLOLyas.

- However, with his spate of legal trouble we are not surprised that Armon Bassett not only declared, but stayed in the draft, despite the fact that Chad Ford had him rated as the 93rd best prospect in the draft. Lesson, oh mighty RAWRCATZ! - Don't punch bouncers in the face. A) They are paid to hit back B) You know someone is going to catch it on their cellphone C) RAWRCATZ! are better than this. We prefer to think that Mr. Bassett was tainted by his time spent at Indiana, and that the more distance he gains from the incident, the better off he will become.

- Sticking with the theme of bummers. Melvin Payne was suspended from the team in early June for reportedly breaking into a house and getting himself all cut up on a broken door. We wish to hold true to the old adage that all are innocent until proven guilty, and will reserve judgment until everything unfolds.

- Hey, let's end on a happy note, shall we? The Sporting News has named LaVon Brazill (the ball of dynamite seen above) to its 3rd team All-America. This is great news because you want to see RAWRCATZ! in these types of scenarios, and now I won't have to rip Phil Steele's heart out (2nd team AA from him) and send it to press release style to reporters like the Zodiac killer.

I know what you're wondering, and yes, I'm far too young to have actually been the Zodiac killer. Geesh, ye have little faith. Now shut up and get in the basement.

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