Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Mike Leach... where are you now oh Pirate captain? That was a rhetorical question, don't feel like you have to answer it. The news coming out of Lubbock, which I've heard is a dust bowl mixed with turds, is that Mike Leach locked noted saint Craig James's kid in an electrical closet for refusing to practice with a concussion. RAWRCATZRAWR has no clue if these allegations are true. But, for the purpose of this piece, we are going to assume that they are.
Mike Leach loves himself some pirates. We've known this from day one. He has Blackbeard in his veins and Davey Jones's locker in his bedroom. But being a pirate comes with some responsibilities. For one, you cannot show your swarthiness to your athletes on a regular basis. You're already known for a cavalier offensive scheme that swashbuckles its way up and down collegiate fields, that's more than enough. There's no need to go rogue on a player (especially one with a famous dad who has a media soapbox at his ready) and throw him in a closet. Especially not one with a concussion. Now we here at RAWRCATZRAWR don't read all that much. For example here's a list of books that we've read in the last 6 months:
Shel Silverstein - Where the Sidewalk Ends (just looked at the pictures)
Dan Brown - The Lost Symbol (too many big words)
Bobby Flay - Boy Meets Grill (RAWRCATZ! love flesh)
That's it. So you can't expect us to be experts on concussions or post-concussion difficulties. But we do know that ex-NHLer Pat LaFontaine, who is the greatest American born hockey player of all time (eat it Mike Modano) was forced to retire early because of concussions. And just like you can't keep the RAWRCATZ! from winning the MAC East again in 2010, you can't keep Pat LaFontaine off the ice for anything but the most important of reasons. We'll put our trust in science in this one; concussions are bad.
So that makes Cap'n Leach's treatment of Adam James even more egregious. Concussions are not to be messed with, and that is probably why as I was writing this Mike Leach was forced to walk the plank at Texas Tech.
So goodbye Mike Leach, hopefully you don't wind up in the MAC. RAWRCATZRAWR would like to see him land at an MWC school that wants to get serious about beating up TCU and BYU.
Also, goodbye to Texas Tech, because you've just fired the only coach who ever took you anywhere and you'll never be relevant again. Guns Up!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
The offense has looked brilliant in spots all year, but this sort of output was unforeseen. 12 yards rushing? Marshall's defense looked fast and effortless for much of the night. Kudos to an outgoing coaching staff for putting in the time to stifle the might RAWRCATZIAN attack.
Penalties make me want to take a nail gun to my sternum. Just brutal.
Now we turn to the recruiting trail where hopefully this year's success will produce the next batch of MAC East champion RAWRCATZ!
Chances of Oregon not beating OSU by more than Marshall beat us? Slim. We'll still be the best team in all of Ohio.
And now, to stop the bleeding - A musical interlude:
Big Business - Ayes Have It
Goddammit, it's not how we planned it.
Friday, December 25, 2009
The Motor City/Little Caesars/ Pizza Pizza Bowl is whatever you want it to be. We choose to believe that it is destiny. Some might say that it is weird that our destiny is financed by $5 pizzas, but if America runs on Dunkin Donuts, then the promised land can be sponsored by a pizza mogul. We're okay with corporations as long as Peden Stadium doesn't turn into Tampax With Wings Stadium. And that day will never come, Frank would never allow it.
Our opponents, the Marshall University Thundering Herd are what a playwright would call a foil, or an antagonist. They'll gallop in from Huntington, West Virgina like a bumbling assortment of carnival freaks, and they'll leave a huddled mass of body bags and broken limbs. This is the RAWRCATZ! way, don't hate us, we can't change, son. We could come up with some clever nicknames for Marshall: The Thunderlolling Herd, The Fighting McConaugheys, The We Would Be Extinct If People Didn't Find Out That We Make Tasty Burgers, But our favorite is the Thundering Nerds (photos, as always, courtesy of RAWRjuiceboxRAWR):
Look at them flee in terror from a rampaging gang of RAWRCATZ! R2D2 doesn't stand a chance, trust me RAWRCATZ! hate droids. Even the giant babby RAWRCATZ! are getting into the action:
Yes, these are the droids we're looking for.
So bring your manga, your Dungeons and Dragons and your Johnny Quest action figures. Bring your Warcraft guild, your level 60 Elven Ranger and your careers in science and math. But most of all bring your football team, because nothing suits the RAWRCATZ! better than finding a team on the brink of annihilation, and pushing them over the edge.
Darius Marshall going over 1000 yards despite not playing in 3 games
Favorable color scheme
Bison are tasty
Chad Pennington to Randy Moss is the most exciting QB/WR tandem in college football
West Virginia sucks
Matthew McConaughey has a rooting interest in your team
Chad Pennington has been dead for 3 years and Randy Moss goes poo poo up in Massachusetts.
Final Weakness: You're playing the RAWRCATZ! I wanted to be cordial, or look at this game through some rose-colored glasses, but seriously. Frank Solich is going to have a field day with your garbage flavored football team.
Cheer Loud and Long for Old Ohio, Cheer Loud and Long for RAWRCATZ!
RAWRCATZ! 34 - Marshall 17
Monday, December 21, 2009
No, our tears were for these young men who have battled so valiantly in front of our eyes all season. They were for Boo Jackson and all the others who have been wounded along the way. They were for Theo Scott who stands in the fire better than most.
They were not for King Solich, if he knew we were crying we'd all be dead.
For a day we wept. We dried our tears on our sleeves and looked depressingly at our MAC East championship shirts. And then we recovered. In this season of thanks and counted blessings we counted high. We have Frank Solich. We have LaVon Brazill. We have the Marching 110. We have Rufus and Peden Stadium and the greatest jerseys in college football.
So now as the holiday quickly approaches we stand with vertebrae of steel and fistfuls of vigor. For on Saturday we breathe fire once more.
Marshall. Who is Marshall anyways? The Thundering Herd? As laughable a mascot as we here at RAWRCATZRAWR! have ever seen. The mascot of a should be extinct beast.
"We Are Marshall!" should be, "We Are About To Be Destroyed By RAWRCATZ!"
Not even Matthew McConaughey can save you.
This Saturday the Motor City welcomes us back once more, this time with open arms. The RAWRCATZ! juggernaut will not be satiated with tours of Greektown and the MGM Casino. These will not even peek our interest. While Marshall tours The Henry Ford Museum we will be hunting. Lurking in the shadows and stalking with a snarl and a sinister look that scares children and makes nuns poop their pants. This time we leave Motown with the head of the herd in our hands, and the first bowl victory in the school's history.
This time, we come for blood.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Look at those eyes, two vacuous black holes of carnage. When The Man stares beings die, and no one is exempt from his scorn. Even RAWRCATZ! faithful should be terrified of the wrath of King Solich. Thankfully he does not turn his gaze of annihilation our way.
Here's a list of just some of the things that Frank Solich has killed with his eyes:
Tara Reid's career
The edible part of the Donner Party
QPR's chances of ever being promoted to the EPL
Rock Hudson's heterosexuality
The Predator in Predator 2
(If you really think that Danny Glover is capable of killing a Predator then you are out of your mind)
Soon added to the list: Marshall.
Friday, December 11, 2009
We have a few things planned for the off season, as well as a grimy and gritty bowl preview coming up, but what do you want to see? Do you want to see in depth recruiting coverage? Do you want to see profiles of your favorite stars? Do you want us to rip-off other blogs cool features and recreate them crappily here? We are clearly not above ripping off better blogs to bring you the best RAWCATZ! content you could possibly imagine.
So what do you have for us? The fans are the reason we have put this humble blog together. And while it is still in its infancy we would love for your input. Do you want to see more of the Marching 110? More Rufus? We are open to suggestions, and are looking for your input. So please contact us and let us know how we can run a better blog. The best football team in the state of Ohio demands a better product. Help us put it out there.
Contact us in the comments, or at firstname.lastname@example.org and give us the direction needed to keep RAWRCATZRAWR! on the cutting edge of blogfrica.
Monday, December 7, 2009
And so, it is with great honor that we accept an invitation to make a return trip to Detroit. The jewel of the Midwest shines brightly before our RAWRCATZian eyes, blinding us with its luster. We take on the Marshall Thunderlolling Herd, and we will beat them. We will stand triumphant on their carcass and let Rufus beat them with his meaty paws.
Not to dwell on past transgressions, but one thing to bring up from Friday's game. Did anyone catch Butch Jones's halftime interview? Rufus just rocketed up the cool scale. The only way he could have been any cooler is if he had given him a dutch rub and taken his hat.
In the following weeks you'll see some new types of content here on RAWRCATZRAWR. We are a new blog, so we'll be working out the kinks a bit. Any suggestions for content can be left in comments section, or emailed to us. We plan on taking a look at recruiting already, but outside of that we're in the dark.
Sidenote: Today is the last day of my semester, so with grad school quieting down for a month I'll be posting some seasonal panoramas of what was 2009, and what lies ahead.
As always, keep RAWRING!
Friday, December 4, 2009
On the flip side we have reason to smile. The RAWRCATZ! made it to the MAC Championship for the 2 time in 4 years. They played their hearts out and as fans and observers we should thank them. Every year under Frank Solich is a year that we should be thankful for. To think of the years we spent lost in the forest before his arrival is to shiver with an everlasting chill in our hearts. So now we will heal, we will move on, and we will await our sacred bowl game where once again our RAWRCATZ! can go RAWRing. It was beautiful and brilliant and I'll miss the warmth it gave me. But memories, like Frank Solich, never die.
Thank you RAWRCATZ! With one more game to go we can already say: It has been a season to remember.
Tonight, for the second time in 4 seasons, our Bobcats will play for the MAC title. This is truly one of the great turnarounds in college football history... I do not have to tell anyone who followed this team through the Brian Knorr era what a massive change Solich has brought to us. In some sense, this game is meaningless. If we lose, we go to our second bowl game in the past 40 years. Butch Jones will leave Central Michigan for some middling BCS school and we'll still be poised to contend in the MAC for years.
But, we cannot allow that feeling to prevail. Our RAWRCATZ have not tasted conference title glory in 41 years. Well before I, and I suspect most of you reading this, were born. Winning tonight would be an important step forward, not just for the team but for the program. I'm tired of going to Peden and seeing people clad in their Scarlet and Gray. There is no reason that we can't do what Cincinnati has done and throw off the shackles of being considered a second class program in our own fanbase. Solich is the man to bring us there, and a win tonight would greatly accelerate the process.
I'm not going to talk about "facts" or "stats" or "injuries". The truth is, they don't mean much. We come into tonight's game 13 point underdogs with two of our best players supposedly "questionable". We face off with a team with a dark horse Heisman candidate at quarterback and a coach who's currently the second hottest in the country, only slightly behind the man he succeeded at Central. None of that matters. We will win for the same reason we've won 9 of our games this season: We want it more. We need it. And we are not leaving Detroit empty handed.
Sorry, Central but you can get fucked.
RAWRCATZ - 35
CHIPS - 27
Thursday, December 3, 2009
But, perhaps we as RAWRCATZ! are blinded to the jewels of other cities. After all, we hail from Athens. A city of light, and culture, and RAWRing. Athens is about as blissful a city as one can come across.
Look at that sky? Beautiful. Athens has it all, and by all, we mean Frank Solich. Frank makes everything wonderful. He also leads RAWRCATZ! to victory. Friday will be no different. RAWRCATZRAWR! wants to make it perfectly clear, we aren't expecting annihilation. Although after the Temple game it looks like it is possible, we are simply rooting for a thrilling football game that concludes with the RAWRCATZ! marching triumphantly across the fieldturf clothed surface of Ford Field.
This one is for Athens, it is for RAWRCATZ! and it is for the death of the Chippewa dynasty.
RAWRCATZRAWR! says let's start the Solich Dynasty, and let it reign for a thousand years.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
That's right Chips, you like you some RAWRCATZ! jizzum on your salty snacks. Extra protein.
*this and all other photoshop genius provided by loyal reader, and mighty RAWRer, RAWRjuiceboxRAWR*
If we were a Chippewa, and thank Solich we are not, we would be shivering in our timbers. Because come Friday night there will be nothing left to be chippy about. The Chips have a LeFevour, and he is mighty, but the RAWRCATZ! are the perfect prescription. (no, not cowbell).
Fire up? I think not.
Ooh - Ahh, it's great to be a Chippewa? Think again.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Yeah, we get deep here. RAWRCATZ! can run however they want.
So the game became a laugher. Theo Scott played out of his mind, and the stingy RAWRCATZ! defense stood up to all the failing and falling owls could muster. If you had turned in a script about a football movie and this was the climax I would have returned it because there was no drama. If you had said, "Hey RAWRCATZRAWR! Solich and co. are going to dirty work Temple." I would have replied, "I want your sex," and shimmied to the left. We are RAWRCATZ! after all. And from time to time, we like to get down.
Theo Scott impresses us at RAWRCATZRAWR! more and more every week. Normally he is competent, accurate, and doesn't do enough stupid things to let the big plays work their magic. This week he WAS the big play. I don't if this can be said enough. He was dynamite. And by dynamite I mean, "BOOM THEO'D!"
Injuries. There were a truckload of them. None more serious than the status of LaVon Brazill and Theo Scott. Without those two the Chips present a much more formidable foe than before. The key will be getting these kids healthy before Saturday.
Matt Weller: RAWRCATZRAWR! has been singing his praises since day one, but he had an off game versus the Owls. We know he'll be called upon versus Central Michigan, he needs to bring that Fort Knox Money stylings that we've grown to expect. But don't worry, we're still fans.
Onward to Detroit RAWRCATZ! The jewel of the Midwest awaits your sultry snarl and your punishing claws of victory.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
So this weekend RAWRCATZ! play the Temple Owls. First, some fun facts about Temple.
1. Temple University is an Ivy League university with an enrollment of just under 20,000. They have an illustrious academic history in which they are one of the leading... Oh, wait. That is UPenn. The good school in Philadelphia. Temple smells like fish and their students are notoriously overweight.
2. If you are black, and under the age of 65, noted alumni Bill Cosby hates you and your youth culture.
3. Bob Saget and Tom Sizemore are both alumni. That is like going to the same preschool as the Olson twins, you know, before they were coked out. I mean...
So we've established that Temple has some shady alumni and has a smelly campus. Also, they don't have Frank Solich. Which is good, because only RAWRCATZ! can be lead by King Solich. If Temple somehow figured out how to clone Frank Solich and use him against us RAWRCATZRAWR! guarantees that the earth would fracture on the fifty yard line of Peden Stadium. And the destruction of Peden Stadium will not be allowed. Thankfully Temple does not have the knowledge or the resources to pull off such a coup. Nor do they have Bernard Pierce, their talented running back, because he's afraid of getting clawed to death by the RAWRCATZ!
All right, here are your:
-Philly is a cool city
-Actually, Bob Saget is pretty funny
-Chester Stewart plays the role of rejuvenatory device
-Philly is a cool city, if you like getting mugged
-Temple is not the best school in the city
-Bernard Pierce's shoulder
-Owls have nasty sleep habits
The Liberty Bell, much like Temple's defense, has a crack in it. The visual symbol of the city is in a constant state of broken. Temple is only a few years removed from complete and total mediocrity, and their strides over the last few years have been admirable, but Friday is not the day to start letting these nocturnal pederasts take that final step. In fact, it will never be time for them to ascend the steps of glory. Because once we take the MAC East within our claws, we will never relinquish it.
Okay RAWRCATZ! now is the time. One more game before we claim our RAWRCATZ! birthright, MAC East champions. With only a final step on the staircase to eternity, let us ascend.
It'll be close, but we're firing with both barrels.
RAWRCATZ - 28 Owls - 20
First, turkey is delicious, and we can't think of a world in which you don't at least get some visual poultry.
And since we here at RAWRCATZRAWR! fully support the spirit of this, a day of thanks, we say thank you to the Marching 110, because they are equal parts awesome and spectacular.
RAWRCATZ! aren't going to stop until they get enough MAC Championships. And even on Thanksgiving Frank Solich's hunger cannot be satiated.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
So that was fun wasn't it? One more game to go, and let's face it, Temple isn't going to know what hit them. So a quick recap is in order.
So we knew Chandler Harnish could through the ball. And he did, right to Julian Posey. Harnish gave him the ammunition, but Posey's the one who fired the shots. A spectacular return for a TD that eventually sealed the deal on what was a close and hard fought game.
Theo Scott put together what could be the best game of his career. He was consistent and accurate, which is all we are expecting of him. The three TD passes don't come as a shock, but are simply an added bonus.
Matt Weller - a.k.a. Fort Knox Money was sound again. With the exception of the Cal Poly game this kid has been prolific. And we get him for 3 more years. That's like angels singing in the ears of Solich. Then again, they do that often.
Finally, RAWRCATZ! of the game - LaVon Brazill. The man with the exotic name comes up swinging and doesn't back down. Final statline: 1 rush for 11 yards. 5 rec. for 55 yards and 2 scores. 1/1 passing for 6 yards and a 91 yard punt return for a RAWRCATZ! TOUCHDOWN. Rumor has it that Frank Solich's words of advice were simply for LaVon to "get some." And some was gotten.
So with that we are 8-3, 6-1 and one game away from the MAC East title, and a Detroit showdown with CMU. If you think, for one second, that Frank isn't going to have this team firing on all cylinders for the Owls, then you'd be mistaken. And by mistaken, I mean dead. Frank knows where you live. He knows where everyone lives.
So before we turn our attention to Temple, who shall get their just deserts, we've got one last piece for Husky Hate Week '09. This one comes to you straight from gchat.
Brodie - Did you hear that Joe Novak read Bo Schembechler's first book, stole everything in it, and then sat at NIU for the rest of his life?
Rawr Catz - No, I didn't hear that.
Brodie - True story.
Rawr Catz - Well now Bo is banging Natalie Wood in the afterlife and Joe Novak is wondering how much mansauce he can dump in Jerry Kill's pedostache.
Brodie - Natalie Wood and Bea Arthur. Bea Arthur... yum.
Yeah, this just got personal.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Tomorrow, in the glorious confines of Peden Stadium, we go to battle against a foe not unlike ourselves. NIU has the same conference record, the same overall record, both teams are tied for 8th in the nation in turnover margin. As enemy mouthpiece Red and Black Attack put it, it's like looking into a mirror.
But don't let these superficial similarities fool you, NIU is nothing like our beloved RAWRCATZ. They hail from the barren wasteland that is the MAC East, they've played a paper thin schedule that Sagarin has decided is 131st in the country... and there are only 119 teams. They tout some impressive statistics, but you'll excuse me for not being impressed by their body of work against the likes of Eastern Michigan, Western Illinois and Toledo.
NIU comes into the game after a close call against Ball State. We've been there. But nevertheless, it was an ugly game against a school who has only managed to best one team all season. The Husky defense apparently decided to take the first half off and the offense struggled in a sluggish affair. An ill-timed onside kick almost cost them dearly. Don't look for these trends to repeat themselves, though... NIU needs this game to stay in the MAC title hunt. Too bad we need it more.
-Coach has one of the coolest last names in the business
-Dan Castellaneta, the voice of Homer Simpson, is an alumnus
-Getting out of the hellish apocalypse of a city that is DeKalb should improve morale
-It's finals week :(
-Coach has a pedo mustache
-The Marching 110 will destroy any hope they may have inside themselves
-Products of puppy mills
NIU is coming into Athens at just the right time as most of the student body will be gone after finals week. But that's all meaningless when you have the Marching 110 and FRANK SOLICH on the sidelines. Two of NIU's three losses have been on the road, and Jerry Kill can't afford to make any mistakes when going up against one of the best minds in the game. We're not Ball State, we will pounce on them and make them pay.
Look at that jackass. Look at him. Do you think he can run with Solich? If you do you're either high or an NIU fan, in which case I'm sorry for your lots. This is going to be a tight game, to be certain. But I think the home field advantage combined with superior coaching will be the difference. On we shall march to Temple.
RAWRCATZ - 20 The Killers - 17
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Theo Scott dreams of throwing touchdowns. And not just easy touchdowns. Big play, precision bombs like laser-guided missiles that put points on the board and weaken the resolve of a relatively stout Husky defense.
LaVon Brazill sleeps silently but in his head dance fascinations of glorious effort and many receptions. In his mind the ball floats effortlessly over the hands of outstretched defenders and he cradles it with his arms and his soul. He crosses the goal line with no one around and casually flips the ball to the referee before being danced about by the multitudes of beautiful lady RAWRCATZ!
Matt Weller doesn't dream, he doesn't have to. He is the dream.
Chris Garrett takes the hand off and breaks instantly into the open. He trucks a husky (the dog, not the player) that has wandered aimlessly onto the field. It is mortally wounded but Chris shows no remorse. That pup should have known to stumble into his path. He pounds his chest, the universal symbol of one who is victorious, and spits an epithet of annihilation into the sky.
Taylor Price wakes up in a cave. He reaches in the darkness for anything he can grasp, but there is nothing. In the distance is a light. He rises and steers himself in that direction. He is cautious, but unafraid. As he nears the light a deafening roar fills his ears and he runs towards it with great anticipation. The lights of Peden Stadium welcome him with their warmth and as he burst through the RAWRCATZ! head he knows that Saturday will be a day he shall remember. This wasn't a dream. It really happened.
Go forth RAWRCATZ! Go forth and make war.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Online Host : ***Welcome to NORTHERN ILLINOIS PEP SQUAD Chat***
LiberalArtsGueer: Alright guys, we need to do something big for the Huskies game against Ohio this week.
KillerQueen: How about a get together of some of the school’s greatest alumni?That would would really fire the team up.
LiberalArtsGueer: That’s a fantastic idea, corch Kill! Let’s just make a list of some of the most famous Huskies alumni… aside from me, of course.
KillerQueen: I thought you were an 11 year old girl who wandered in here by accident.
LiberalArtsGueer: What? No! I’m renowned liberal blogger Markos Moulitsas.
KillerQueen: Markie Post?
LiberalArtsGueer: No! Haven’t you ever heard of the Daily Kos?
KillerQueen: Oh man, I loved Ghost Dad.
KillerQueen: Let’s just invite Markie Post
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Moving on, as you know RAWRCATZRAWR! is dedicated towards bringing you the straight facts on the enemies of the divine RAWRCATZ! This week is no different. With that in mind we would like to spend some time elaborating on the lesser points of this week's opponent: Northern Illinois University.
1. They breed their huskies in puppy mills.
Just like the University of Connecticut and the University of Maryland Baltimore County, Northern Illinois University has a dog for a mascot. But unlike these and several other fine canine centric teams, NIU has an extensive puppy breeding program with which they raise their elegant, but ultimately flea riddled mascots.
Look at this people. DOGS IN CRATES. Dogs are one of the earth's most majestic and loyal creatures. At no point is a dog ever supposed to be stuffed in a crate. Except for pugs because they are stupid and breathe like they have emphysema. But all other dogs are to be kept out of crates at all time. They aren't cattle folks. Cattle are delicious and should be treated as thus. Dogs, however, are not delicious and should never be eaten or treated in this fashion. Someone get PETA over to DeKalb right away.
2. NIU are a band of gypsies.
After the Chernobyl fiasco forced their relocation from DeKalb, the board of directors over at NIU decided that instead of spending millions of dollars on a new campus, they would set up shop wherever they pleased. Now I know what you're thinking, Brad Pitt played a gypsy in Snatch, and that movie was awesome. But we're not talking bare knuckle boxing, alcohol swilling gypsies full of awesomeness. Regular gypsies kick ass. These are faux-gypsies, and they missed the boat on what the gypsy lifestyle is all about. Come to think of it, they are to gypsies what Cher is to gypsies. An abomination. Then again, Cher is an abomination in any scenario.
3. NIU was built on an Indian burial ground
NIU's first president, who's name is completely forgettable and insignificant, was quite the bigot. After the board of trustees was created to pave the way for the new establishment, this man, whoever he was, went on a tour, asking the local Indian population of their most sacred spots. The one that they pointed out the most was a sacred burial ground where their most honored warrior chiefs were buried. This guy, who is not mentioned because his descendants have connections, built is residence on that very site. Ever since then NIU has been condemned to mediocrity. I mean, their football team has 1 MAC title ever, and this is the school that produced Garrett Wolfe and Michael Turner. How do you not win the MAC with Michael Turner? Answer: Your school is built on an Indian burial ground. That's the kind of karma you don't want to mess with.
As we have illustrated Northern Illinois University is a total and thorough abomination of an institution. The fact that they are allowed to grant degrees is appalling. However, their football team will prove to be quite a test for our RAWRCATZ! Hopefully the Honorable Coach Solich will take these facts, and use them as motivation. For this surely is a fight of good vs. evil.
RAWRCATZ! are always GOOD and never EVIL.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Down on the bottom right you can see the campus of Northern Illinois University. Sadly the original campus was deserted after the nearby Chernobyl nuclear disaster of 1986 contaminated much of the area with high levels of toxic radiation. DeKalb has never recovered, although it is reported that stalks of corn the size of sequoias grow near the teams former football practice facility. These stalks of corn could end the world hunger crisis and spur on a golden age of agricultural renaissance. Unfortunately, nuclear corn tastes like crap.
Since the disaster has rendered the city unsafe for human habitation the university was forced to close its ancestral doors and relocate. Instead of setting up at a new, more expansive and desirous location, they decided to become a nomadic campus. Much like a virus they'll latch onto a city or town, using up all of their natural resources and consuming all of the tastiness at the local KFC, until the city dies a horrible death. Here is a picture of the last town that they "relocated" to.
That used to be a charming outdoor garden. Not anymore. Rumor has it that these Huskies have set their eyes on fair Athens. THIS SHALL NOT COME TO PASS! The RAWRCATZ! are well aware of their nefarious schemes, and will use every tactical and schematic advantage in an effort to expel the visitors from our city streets paved with gold. Athens, by the name of Solich, shall not, must not fall.
So remember fair citizens of Athens and RAWRCATZ! alike. This weekend when you see a husky in your midst, he is not there as a friend. He and/or she is there on a recon mission. They are looking for what stores to swallow up, where they can get the newest Jonas Brother's bootlegs and most importantly who's homes they want to steal.
Stand tall RAWRCATZ! Stand tall.
Friday, November 13, 2009
For all of you fellow RAWRCATZ! out there on this lovely planet we call home, if you've got any great RAWRCATZ! pictures send them to rawrcatzrawr at gmail dot com and we'll post them.
For those who missed it, the RAWRCATZ extinguished the glittering flame of bowl eligibility for Buffalo on Tuesday. Unfortunately, since we played early in the week we have no game to talk about for Saturday. Rest assured that the RAWRCATZ will not sleep on the rest of this week. Sure they might take a day off to ruminate on the glorious satisfaction that was the Buffalo Beatdown, and hell, they probably stopped and got some hot wings, but their eyes and claws will be as sharp as ever come next Saturday when the Huskies come to town. And be certain, RAWRCATZRAWR! will bring you the full report.
By the cane of John C. Baker, we prowl onward!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
We still control our own destiny. We still have a chance at RAWRCATZ! glory, and we still lead the charge with our heads high. And didn't Frank Solich look terrifying. Did you see the way the refs leaned away from him while he spit vitriol? Frank commands the loyalty of RAWRCATZ! nation, and we are menacing.
Theo Scott - Yes, he fumbled the ball into the endzone, and yes he threw a pick. But he also put up 22/28 for 221. He was steady and in control.
LaVon Brazill - When the man comes around, he scorches earth. Hopefully Brazill can keep this momentum up for the rest of the season and carry it through to 2010. Final stat line 10 receptions for 99 yards and a 48 yard TD pass.
Matt Weller - Like I said, this kid is Fort Knox Money. He proved it once again.
Clearly Frank's Mortal Kombat victory from earlier propelled us to new heights. We took the opening drive and stuffed it down their throats. Sure, it was upended, but the tide was set for the night as the RAWRCATZ! powered through BuffaLOLo all game.
Last night was a night where we stood tall on national television. We can be proud, and hopefully keep this going because the next two will be tough. Thankfully we now have almost 2 weeks to prepare for a Huskies team that will look to soil the glorious and sanctified lawn of Peden Stadium.
But until then we should savor this triumph, for it brings us one step closer to our goal of MAC champions.
Stand up and Cheer, for we are the RAWRCATZ!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
RAWRCATZ STILL IN THE HUNT!
Suck on this BuffaLOLo!
27 - 24, Turner Gill defeated and the MAC Championship game is still within the grasp of our sharpened claws.
Recap tomorrow. Until then...
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Ahead of us lies the burning road. The strong survive while the lethargic and temporary are cast into the void. 3 games, 3 chances to foster upon the world all that we have hungered for. For the players, they have sweat through shirts and bled through layers of skin that are meant to protect them from what lies beyond. 3 games, 3 dances with fate and the chance to prove that we belong at the top of this scrapheap. With claws sharpened and eyes affixed upon what was once so elusive and yet now is within our grasp, we snarl at the wind to remind it who is boss.
We are RAWRCATZ.
Tonight we play Buffalo in what many think should be the last "should win" game for the RAWRCATZ. But we cannot look ahead. Turner Gill, once the "next great thing" in college football coaching lore, now stares down the double barrel shot gun of the RAWRCATZ on the prowl. We here at RAWRCATZRAWR have one simple word for Turner Gill, "oops."
Oops - You should have taken the money and run. This is a business, son. In recent years schools with long-established coaches like NIU and Southern Miss got on their bandwagons and ushered people out the door. So you won a few games, nobody is going to remember that when you are the special teams coach at Norfolk State in 3 years. You had a chance to get out, to get paid, and to live in an area that wasn't, you know, Buffalo. But instead you stuck to your guns. You stood by the program that stood by you. And now you're just a guy at a MAC school who is holding onto his paychecks because they might be their last. Integrity, that's a real bitch.
So Buffalo limps into this game having just been accosted by a late Bowling Green push. They think they have luck on their side though. They should have beaten BGSU. They had the game in their cloven hooves and they threw it away. Or rather they let it get blocked twice and turned into 2 touchdowns. Special teams gaffs are a brooding trend with this team, look for Tuesday night to be no different.
Buffalo Fighting Turner Gills (a.k.a. Bulls):
-Playing at home
-Have large fatty reserves that get them through the winter
-Naaman Roosevelt is pretty good and has a sweet first name
-Dumb lumbering animals
-Really should be extinct
-No James Starks
The Bulls will be at home, but not on the plains, in the vast wintry wasteland that is Buffalo. Unfortunately for them the RAWRCATZ are 4 - 1 on the road this year. When we put on the sparkly all whites we are ferocious. They do have Turner Gill, but some in the Buffalolo media are saying that he has become too conservative for his own good. This is not good. RAWRCATZ will eat your conservative alive. Naaman Roosevelt has a pretty sweet name, but what's in a name these days?
If it comes down to who looks better, this is a win. RAWRCATZ have some of the sickest jerseys in all of the FBS. Buffalo cannot compete with that. I mean, their jerseys look like what Kentucky threw away 6 years ago. At least they got rid of the horns on the helmet that made them look like they were members of the Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo. If based on jerseys alone I would say RAWRCATZ by 3,000. But since this is a game played by young men, and Buffalo has some skilled ones, I'll go easy on them.
RAWRCATZ - 27 Fighting Turner Gills - 21
BONUS PREDICTION: Frank Solich v. Turner Gill - Mortal Kombat competition
Frank wins the coin toss and gets to pick first and wisely picks Scorpion, who was easily the best character in MK1. Turner Gill picks Johnny Cage, which, lol.
Rd. 1 FIGHT!
Frank busts out the easily defensed spear toss, but Turner Gill is busy looking at the pile of money he turned down to coach at a decent institution and it hits like thunder. As expected this is followed up with an uppercut. Already down to half his health meter Johnny Cage, shades and all, opens up an impressive barrage of punches. Turner Gill doesn't know that he can hit other buttons and just hits 'b' on repeat. Scorpion flips over Cage and roundhouse kicks him to the back of the head. Another spear and uppercut and round 1 is over.
Rd. 2 FIGHT!
Frank, thinking he can run the gauntlet with another spear, throws off right off the bat. Turner ducks and does a running slide kick sending Scorpion flailing. Gill immediately jumps but hits block instead of kick and lands harmlessly on the other side of the fallen Scorpion. He rises with an uppercut, which draws an "ooooh" from the onlookers, including Boo Jackson who's smile looks like a million dollars. Just like the million dollars that Turner Gill gave up to stay at Buffalo. Gill, turning to see the source of illumination falls for a series of swift high punches that leaves him near dead. A roar comes over the crowd and before Johnny Cage can regain his composure a familiar phrase emanates from the machine:
Scorpion casually pulls off his hood, spits the fire of Johnny Cage's death and raises a fist in victory. Frank Solich ends all with the infinite bitch slap. FATALITY!
And you know the blood code was on.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
That's what we call karma for trying to cheat the RAWRCATZ out of what is rightfully theirs, the MAC title. RAWRCATZ! control their own destiny. Much like cold pizza, destiny is delicious. Buffalo once were almost extinct in this country. Time to make that a reality.
To tide you over until the party starts on Tuesday:
Friday, November 6, 2009
The Ocean. It is big, it is menacing, it is salty. Since the RAWRCATZ don't have a game until Tuesday we will spend this Friday ruminating on a particular kind of foe.
So in lieu of an actual opponent this weekend, let's make one up. My pick - The Atlantic.
Reasons for the Atlantic:
Geographically it is the closest ocean. It is also growing while the Pacific is shrinking, thus making it the dominant of our nation's coastal waters.
Travel expenses to the Indian Ocean would be astronomical, and we'd probably have to stay on a cruise ship or in some third world country. We already have to fight off Swine Flu, I wouldn't want the team to be exposed to typhoid fever and the bubonic plague of death as well.
Is the Arctic Ocean really an ocean at all? I just thought it was a mass of ice. Also, if you are going to travel a long distance, why go some place cold? That is why the NCAA lets you play 13 times if you go to Hawaii. Vacations rule.
The Pacific Ocean, as noted above, is the Atlantic's bitch. There's no need to play inferior talent. I mean we already played the LolHawks. One smiting is enough.
So now that we have settled on an opponent, it is important that we diagnose their strengths and weaknesses.
-Largest mountain range on the planet
-Hurricane season largely over
-The Perfect Storm was filmed in it
-Not as much salt as Frank Solich
-Whales are gay
The AO (acronyms BOOM!) will try and use its vast size advantage... to its advantage. Our smaller players will have to be shifty to avoid the pratfalls of becoming fodder for wave after wave of wave attacks. The salt is largely neutralized by Frank Solich, unless the AO is smart enough to construct a replica Solich out of sea salt. In which case all might be lost.
With the loss of their Hurricane offense their attack will be mostly neutralized, but their blanket defense, especially their d-line along the Mid-Atlantic Ridge will punish the RAWRCATZ and their ability to distribute the ball on quick strikes that negate the effects of the ridge will be paramount to our success. There is literally nothing we can do about the sharks. Sharks are fucking awesome.
If the RAWRCATZ want to win this battle of titanic forces (remember, the AO actually has the Titanic as well) they will need to be on their toes. This is a winnable game though. I have a feeling it will come down to a Matt Weller field goal, and that kid is Fort Knox Money.
Final Score: RAWRCATZ - 34 Atlantic Ocean - 32
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I your humble narrator Rawr Catz hope to drag you kicking and screaming through the veritable ramparts of college football glory. I have a small and concise manifesto to share with you today, our inaugural day of RAWRing across the interwebz
1. Frank Solich is the unquestioned badass behind the resurgence in RAWRCATZ football. I mean, look at this glorious son of a bitch: