Friday, December 25, 2009

RAWRCATZ vs Marshall, nay, the World

When we first started this endeavor of a blog, it was our sublime hope that RAWRCATZRAWR would become your one stop shop for all your RAWRCATZ! needs. A sort of Meijer full of RAWRCATZ! paraphernalia and babby RAWRCATZ! that you could pick up and play with until they clawed your eyes out. That is our wish, and on the eve of the greatest victory in the long and illustrious history that is RAWRCATZ! football, we proceed.

The Motor City/Little Caesars/ Pizza Pizza Bowl is whatever you want it to be. We choose to believe that it is destiny. Some might say that it is weird that our destiny is financed by $5 pizzas, but if America runs on Dunkin Donuts, then the promised land can be sponsored by a pizza mogul. We're okay with corporations as long as Peden Stadium doesn't turn into Tampax With Wings Stadium. And that day will never come, Frank would never allow it.

Our opponents, the Marshall University Thundering Herd are what a playwright would call a foil, or an antagonist. They'll gallop in from Huntington, West Virgina like a bumbling assortment of carnival freaks, and they'll leave a huddled mass of body bags and broken limbs. This is the RAWRCATZ! way, don't hate us, we can't change, son. We could come up with some clever nicknames for Marshall: The Thunderlolling Herd, The Fighting McConaugheys, The We Would Be Extinct If People Didn't Find Out That We Make Tasty Burgers, But our favorite is the Thundering Nerds (photos, as always, courtesy of RAWRjuiceboxRAWR):

Look at them flee in terror from a rampaging gang of RAWRCATZ! R2D2 doesn't stand a chance, trust me RAWRCATZ! hate droids. Even the giant babby RAWRCATZ! are getting into the action:

Yes, these are the droids we're looking for.

So bring your manga, your Dungeons and Dragons and your Johnny Quest action figures. Bring your Warcraft guild, your level 60 Elven Ranger and your careers in science and math. But most of all bring your football team, because nothing suits the RAWRCATZ! better than finding a team on the brink of annihilation, and pushing them over the edge.

Darius Marshall going over 1000 yards despite not playing in 3 games
Favorable color scheme
Bison are tasty
Chad Pennington to Randy Moss is the most exciting QB/WR tandem in college football

Lackluster jerseys
West Virginia sucks
Matthew McConaughey has a rooting interest in your team
Chad Pennington has been dead for 3 years and Randy Moss goes poo poo up in Massachusetts.

Final Weakness: You're playing the RAWRCATZ! I wanted to be cordial, or look at this game through some rose-colored glasses, but seriously. Frank Solich is going to have a field day with your garbage flavored football team.

Cheer Loud and Long for Old Ohio, Cheer Loud and Long for RAWRCATZ!

RAWRCATZ! 34 - Marshall 17


Other Chris said...

Dang, son, this STRONG post makes me want to haul the family in to Detroit tomorrow, snow showers or no snow showers.


Concerned Ohio Fan said...