Monday, September 20, 2010

Sometimes When You Lose You Win

Because your mascot does this:


HT: MGoBlog

Update: From SB Nation


Rufus - Your hog riding, teeth gnashing, fist throwing mascot of the year.

RAWRcap: Ohio State

Well, that was fun. Right? Wrong.

So we stumble forward with some new knowledge.

Boo Jackson + Phil Bates =/= Theo Scott

LaVon Brazill - Taylor Price = Tough Coverage

There are some positives to take out of the weekend. Our defense only allowed 158 yards on 41 carries. That's a lot of yardage, but only 3.9 yards a pop, well below OSU's average for the year. The offense is clearly going to struggle to put up points, but after three weeks the defense has some metal in its spine after all.

Ohio State has put the wood to three teams so far this year, and we won't be the last, but we stood tough, showed our teeth, and looked good doing it. A sad day indeed, but we will march on for Old Ohio, that's all we can do.

P.S. - He who played Rufus shouldn't have been removed from his role, he should be given a medal. That was a mauling Brutus will never forget.

Friday, September 17, 2010

RAWRCATZ! vs Buckeyes


Get the Gimp!

So we stand on the threshold of the great unknown. We could tumble deep into the ethereal darkness of 1 - 2 (0-1) and find our paws flailing about in the hopes that we come into contact with something, and the hope that when said contact comes, that what we find is not there to eat us. Or, as RAWRCATZ! and as one, we could step into the light. Yes, the Buckeyes are formidable. They have an arsenal of speed and death that could, at any moment, rip our defense to shreds. But the light, it is so warm. If we really, truly believe that we are the best team in the state of Ohio (and we do) then we must take care of business. The real life version of a killtacular has to start right now. Death and folly be assigned to the Buckeyes.

Death and folly.

Death or glory.



If that doesn't get you amped up to beat the Buckeyes... then you're dead already, and thus, of no use to RAWRCATZ! except for a snack.

Prognosticating: GO!

Strengths:
Actually, they are pretty damn good.
Pryor seems to have fixed that armpunt problem.
Finally got rid of that "Little Animal" character.
Their defense vs. our offense... yikes.

Weaknesses:
Let's face it, they don't see us coming.
Coming down off of the high of running roughshod over Tha U.
RAWRCATZ! are impervious to poisonous nuts.
Brazill with two L's is due.

Prediction:

RAWRCATZ! 27 - Buckeyes 24

There, I said it.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

BUCKEYE HATE WEEK: Q&A With the Enemy


Taking any opportunity to do so, talking to the enemy can provide us RAWRCATZ! with helpful insight into inner workings of those depraved enough to not be RAWRCATZ! This week we talk with Sam from 11 Warriors, which is probably the only Buckeye blog worth reading. In this Q&A session we see that Sam suffers from serious bouts of "thinking you're really effing cool" and "pretending that most Buckeyes are not sodomites." In the long run these are troubling issues, but both are correctable with some shock therapy. On with the Q&A:

1. What is the worst part about being a Buckeye?


Sometimes the grapes fed to us by the womenfolk of conquered Big Ten teams are a bit on the sour side.

2. What is the best part about being a Buckeye?

There are convenient poop receptacles everywhere you look.

3. How many Pryor Armpunts does it take for Old Ohio to merc the Bucks in Columbus?


4. If RAWRCATZ! are RAWRing, what are Buckeyes doing?

Emphasizing the "THE" in THE Ohio State University in a decades-old pissing contest we can't get over winning. SUCK IT, COCKBAGS

5. How afraid of Frank Solich are you?

Is this before or after he gets behind the wheel whilst hammered?

6. Assume that the Buckeyes are Motecuhzoma, and the RAWRCATZ! are
Hernán Cortés, what would your strategy be for not being blinked from existence?

Sacrificing 11 dingo dogs and farting the tune of Good Vibrations on the president of New Guinea in a sacred ritual that summons the God-beast Sweatzalcoatl, known to most around these parts as James "Jim" Jonathan J. "J-Dawg" Tressel


7. LaVon Brazill is awesome. What say you?

I say LaVon is a chick's name. Or is that LaVonda? Is that racist?

8. Honestly, who wins in a street fight, The Marching 110 or The Best Damn Band in the Land?

As you may already know, everyone from Columbus knows how to throw down. Even old ladies. In the end, I envision sousaphones poking out of Green and White-clad rectums. [Ed. Note: RAWRCATZ! rectums are proudly Green and White. Such a noble color scheme when used correctly.]

9. Finally, a humble prediction?


THE Ohio State University Buckeyes - a googolplex
Ohio University Schmohawks - negative 73

While they are clearly deranged, it is important that we treat our Ohio neighbors with a touch of humility this weekend. I mean, you would be deranged too if you were constantly told you were only the second best football team in Ohio.

BUCKEYE HATE WEEK: Installment Two

Gifts That Keep On Giving
A play in one act

A spherical shape looks around the corner, the darkness of the bedroom, candlelit and sanguine, reveals nothing of the onlooker's personae. Rufus, aware of the aberration that lurks in his abode, betrays nothing of this knowledge. The lurker coughs, and, embarrassed of betraying his location, shuffles deeper into the darkness.

Rufus: Et tu, Brute?
Lurker: Yes, it is I.
Rufus: What brings your personage here on this day? You know we are to meet each other in combat upon the coming of this Saturday.
Brutus: You know why I come. Ever since I saw you, riding your biwheeled chariot of war, I dream only of traversing your manliest of manlies.


Rufus: Poor Brutus, don't you see? The motorcycle is but a facade. I am a learned man, the bike is but a foil for the team. As you should know, intellect is craved not by those upon the field of pigskin combat, only brawn and valor are desirous.

Rufus points to the far wall of the bedroom, row after row of books are found. Brutus, finally leaving the shadows, walks to the wall. He fingers a few titles, picking one up randomly.

Brutus: Dez cartez?
Rufus: You mean Descartes?
Brutus: I know nothing of DezCartez.
Rufus: One of the many reasons why we cannot be together.
Brutus: These books mean nothing to me anyways, it is you I crave.
Rufus: How can you turn your back on intellect in this way? This is the foremost reason why my lungs expand and my neurons fire. What sort of reasoning can lead one on such a foolish path of drudgery?
Brutus: It is because I cannot read.
Rufus: Cannot read?
Brutus: No, it is my great shame. That, and my pulsating ovaries.
Rufus: Surely this cannot be? Illiterate?
Brutus: No, my parents were married when they made me.
Rufus: (Shaking his head) No, I mean you honestly cannot read?
Brutus: No, I cannot. And my ovaries pulse like a cell phone on an everlasting vibrate.
Rufus: I care not about your ovaries. But your illiteracy confounds me. How did you get into the University of Ohio State?
Brutus: I told you, my parents were married.
Rufus: Never mind that, I must teach you to read. I cannot allow the head dignitary of the state university of Ohio remain so little a scholar, and so much a miscreant.

Rufus strolls to the bookshelf and picks up a thin book.

Rufus: Here, we'll start with this. My nephew loves this one.
Brutus: I am desirous of this ability. To be able to read would surely enhance your fondness of me. All I want is to be nurtured by those RAWRCATZian paws.
Rufus: If that is what you desire, you shall have it. But only when you have gained the knowledge of the written word.
Brutus: I am forever indebted to you. My ovaries pulse, my wetness knows no bounds, I can only think of one form of repayment.
Rufus: And that is?
Brutus: Happy Ending.



End Scene.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

BUCKEYE HATE WEEK!

Did something happen this weekend? No, didn't think so. In fact, I'd like to think that this weekend merely existed so that we could remember the events of September 11th. Instead, the weekend served to remind us that even RAWRCATZ! are not invincible. In fact, they are quite vulnerable to the lamest of attacks. The Rockettes, with their V-2 barrage, were able to sustain an attack that while not as devastating to the streets of Athens as Nazi Germany was to London, unlike the Londoners, our RAWRCATZ! offensive could not defeat the terror weapons of Toledo.

But we can't linger on the past. We have work to do, son.

Coming soon to a horseshoe near you: RAWRCATZ!

Let's get some basic items out of the way first.

1. RAWRCATZ! do not hate the Buckeyes as much as they do the lowly Redhawks. In fact, we just think they're smelly.

2. Rufus, owns Brutus (more on this throughout the week).

3. The Marching 110, while not as well-known or poop flavored as the Best Damn Band in the Land, can throw down with the best of them.



And that's the perfect segue for this week. The Uprising is upon us.

This week the RAWRCATZ! toss aside the losses of yesterweekend and yesteryear. This week we show the greater Columbus area that Athens is a town to be reckoned with. This week we go RAWRing.

Enough of this Buckeye State garbage. It is time for a state of RAWRCATZ!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

RAWRCATZ! v Toledo

So, you want a MAC game? After the scrimmage against Wofford you have to think that the RAWRCATZ! are ready to curb stomp their way through a Toledo team that is very good at just that, getting curb stomped. Last week Toledo put up the 2 spot on a tough, but decidedly not RAWRCATZian Arizona team. Is it possible that they have enough rocket fuel to power past our mighty green and white clad world beaters?

No. They do not.

I am Mitch Albom.

These lines are important.

Tuesdays With Morrie.

Blows.

Sorry for the shortness of this preview, but this is going to be murder.

ToLOLedo Rockettes

Strengths:

You can only go up... right?
The game is in Ohio, so they are closer to home than in the desert.
Hey, they got that safety last week.
Umm...

Weaknesses:

The offense
The defense
Rufus v a Rockette? Give me some Rufus.

As you can see, we here at RAWRCATZRAWR! don't believe in any hype that the Rockettes were slumping last weekend. We believe that Arizona is pretty overrated and will show that during the Pac 10 schedule. RAWRCATZ!, however, are never overrated. They are the best football team in the state of Ohio, and today is only the beginning.

Toledo, get some.

RAWRCATZ! - 35 Rockettes - 3

Boom goes the dynamite.

Friday, September 3, 2010

RAWRCATZ! vs. Wofford


I feel the picture above to be wholly inclusive of what this weekend's scrimmage against Wofford represents. Either Wofford comes in and puts on a frilly lace collar and we CATZhandle them like the green and white dream machine that we are. Or we get to look at Terrier naughty bits and our season is over before it starts. I could rant and rave about the stupidity of playing FCS teams but I won't. All I'll say is if we win, who cares. If we lose, ALL HOLY HELL THE SHIP IS SINKING, THE SHIP IS SINKING!

RAWRCATZ! should use this as an opportunity to sharpen their claws for when the MAC schedule starts off next week. Ideally, Boo Jackson spends the first half shaking off the rust and doesn't see the field in the second half. Ideally, King Solich death stares half of Wofford's team and you can get 'em all a body bag. Ideally... ehh, who am I kidding? You don't think the season starts this week either.

Alright, onto the prognosticating, because this scrimmage already feels like a fool's errand.

Wofford Strengths:
Who
Gives
Two
Farts?

Weaknesses:
Playing the RAWRCATZ!
No answers for rejuvenated Boo
Peden Stadium doesn't put up with this crap

Seeing as how the starters will probably only play 2 1/2ish quarters, I'm willing to bet that the score doesn't get too out of hand. With that being said, this will be over when Rufus takes the field.

RAWRCATZ! 38 - Wofford 10

Bring on the Rockettes.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Seasonal Allergies

As the season steadily approaches next week (I'm not counting Wofford and neither should you) RAWRCATZRAWR! wants to bring you some in depth coverage of your conquering RAWRCATZ! Unfortunately, we are bloggers, thus, we sleep in our parent's basement. In my case, it is a horrible, dingy, and mouse-infested place in which no real sleep is ever attained. I am stealing the internet from my neighbors because my family is secretly Amish and hates me for my use of technology. "But for RAWRCATZ!" I say to my father. He hits me with a horseshoe.

Thankfully, intrepid people over at BobcatAttack have been doing some nice legwork for you RAWRCATZ! out there. Here is an interview with RAWRCATZRAWR! favorite LaVon Brazill:



LaVon, may you RAWR into the sunset with some shiny hardware. A MAC Championship, perhaps. There are plenty more videos on their YouTube channel as well as on their website. Take a look, create a profile, and endear yourselves to fellow RAWRCATZ! from across the globe. Even if they prefer the less terrorizing "Bobcat" moniker, which even when in all-caps is far from terrifying.

On to other pressing news, if you want to see the scrimmage this weekend against Woofford (see what I did there? They're the Terriers...) then your best bet is to head to Peden. Why wouldn't you be there anyways? I'll be there. Look for the goofy looking kid wearing a shirt that says "We are RAWRing" and give me a high-five. We should bring back the high-five, that and Marxism. Frankism. Solichism... yes, Solichism it is. ERECT THE BRONZE STATUE IN THE PLAZA ALREADY!

Monday, August 30, 2010

WOFFORD HATE WEEK: Wait... Wofford Hate Week?

Like many of you I look at Wofford on the schedule and immediately let my gaze trend southward to the next game, the bumbling Rockettes of Toledo. I mean, honestly, why do I give two poops about the mighty Terriers? We are, after all, RAWRCATZ! And no amount of terriering will ever scare a RAWRCATZ! emissary. Especially in the friendly confines of Peden Stadium. However, my humility, which my mom has told me is a great quality, tells me that we must treat all opponents equally. Never mind that I've been ramping up for Buckeye Hate Week for months, Wofford comes first on our schedule, thus is the first step towards a MAC East crown. With this in mind, I tried to dig up some dirt on Wofford College, and draw a true opinion of Wofford from there.

For one, Wofford has a history, albeit a slight one, with football. Legendary Air Force Academy coach Fisher DeBerry is an alum. He was an assistant coach at Wofford for two years, before moving on to Appalachian State and finally Air Force.

Nope, Fisher DeBerry seems like a stand-up kind of guy. No reason to hate them yet.

Also, the owner of the Carolina Panthers, Jerry Richardson, played for Wofford and in the NFL before making some sound business decisions that allowed him to bring the NFL to his home state of North Carolina.

Again, no reason for hatred. So we move on.

Wofford College is considered an arboretum with its lush and natural plant life and is a member of the American Association of Botanical Gardens and Arboreta. There is nothing that RAWRCATZ! like more than wilderness. So I've got nothing so far.

Finally RAWRCATZRAWR! looked at Wofford's US News rankings and found... well some disturbing trends.

Average in state tuition for RAWRCATZ! U? $9,537
Average tuition for Wofford? $31,710

So these smug looking, snobby, East Coast dudes think that they are going to march into the Midwest and show us how to get dirty? Let me tell you something Wofford. RAWRCATZ! invented dirty. We eat, breathe and sleep dirty. You see a RAWRCATZ! who is not dirty, that means he just took a shower because he was covered in Terrier entrails. We will see you in the hollowed halls of Athens on Saturday you uppity punks, and you can bet that Rufus and a gang of 100 snarling RAWRCATZ! will be there to kick you all the way back to where the water is salty and where "men" own "yachts." You want class strife? RAWRCATZ! can bring the strife all damn day. Peden will be covered in your blood and the wind will pick up fractured puppy limbs for months to come.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

RAWRCATZRAWR: Big in Asia

Don't click the links:
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July 31, 2010 5:26 PM

Sorry for the lack of content. No internetz at the new apartment. Be back shortly.