Wednesday, September 15, 2010

BUCKEYE HATE WEEK: Q&A With the Enemy


Taking any opportunity to do so, talking to the enemy can provide us RAWRCATZ! with helpful insight into inner workings of those depraved enough to not be RAWRCATZ! This week we talk with Sam from 11 Warriors, which is probably the only Buckeye blog worth reading. In this Q&A session we see that Sam suffers from serious bouts of "thinking you're really effing cool" and "pretending that most Buckeyes are not sodomites." In the long run these are troubling issues, but both are correctable with some shock therapy. On with the Q&A:

1. What is the worst part about being a Buckeye?


Sometimes the grapes fed to us by the womenfolk of conquered Big Ten teams are a bit on the sour side.

2. What is the best part about being a Buckeye?

There are convenient poop receptacles everywhere you look.

3. How many Pryor Armpunts does it take for Old Ohio to merc the Bucks in Columbus?


4. If RAWRCATZ! are RAWRing, what are Buckeyes doing?

Emphasizing the "THE" in THE Ohio State University in a decades-old pissing contest we can't get over winning. SUCK IT, COCKBAGS

5. How afraid of Frank Solich are you?

Is this before or after he gets behind the wheel whilst hammered?

6. Assume that the Buckeyes are Motecuhzoma, and the RAWRCATZ! are
Hernán Cortés, what would your strategy be for not being blinked from existence?

Sacrificing 11 dingo dogs and farting the tune of Good Vibrations on the president of New Guinea in a sacred ritual that summons the God-beast Sweatzalcoatl, known to most around these parts as James "Jim" Jonathan J. "J-Dawg" Tressel


7. LaVon Brazill is awesome. What say you?

I say LaVon is a chick's name. Or is that LaVonda? Is that racist?

8. Honestly, who wins in a street fight, The Marching 110 or The Best Damn Band in the Land?

As you may already know, everyone from Columbus knows how to throw down. Even old ladies. In the end, I envision sousaphones poking out of Green and White-clad rectums. [Ed. Note: RAWRCATZ! rectums are proudly Green and White. Such a noble color scheme when used correctly.]

9. Finally, a humble prediction?


THE Ohio State University Buckeyes - a googolplex
Ohio University Schmohawks - negative 73

While they are clearly deranged, it is important that we treat our Ohio neighbors with a touch of humility this weekend. I mean, you would be deranged too if you were constantly told you were only the second best football team in Ohio.

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