Thursday, November 26, 2009

RAWRCATZ vs. Temple

We know posting has been light this week, with the holidays and a weekend hangover compounding our ability to write declarative sentences, we knew we'd be in trouble. But, in honor of tomorrow morning's battle for the MAC East title RAWRCATZRAWR! is ready to pull out all the stops. RAWRCATZ! GO!

So this weekend RAWRCATZ! play the Temple Owls. First, some fun facts about Temple.

1. Temple University is an Ivy League university with an enrollment of just under 20,000. They have an illustrious academic history in which they are one of the leading... Oh, wait. That is UPenn. The good school in Philadelphia. Temple smells like fish and their students are notoriously overweight.

2. If you are black, and under the age of 65, noted alumni Bill Cosby hates you and your youth culture.

3. Bob Saget and Tom Sizemore are both alumni. That is like going to the same preschool as the Olson twins, you know, before they were coked out. I mean...

So we've established that Temple has some shady alumni and has a smelly campus. Also, they don't have Frank Solich. Which is good, because only RAWRCATZ! can be lead by King Solich. If Temple somehow figured out how to clone Frank Solich and use him against us RAWRCATZRAWR! guarantees that the earth would fracture on the fifty yard line of Peden Stadium. And the destruction of Peden Stadium will not be allowed. Thankfully Temple does not have the knowledge or the resources to pull off such a coup. Nor do they have Bernard Pierce, their talented running back, because he's afraid of getting clawed to death by the RAWRCATZ!

All right, here are your:


-Philly is a cool city
-Brotherly Love
-Actually, Bob Saget is pretty funny
-Chester Stewart plays the role of rejuvenatory device


-Philly is a cool city, if you like getting mugged
-Temple is not the best school in the city
-Bernard Pierce's shoulder
-Owls have nasty sleep habits

The Liberty Bell, much like Temple's defense, has a crack in it. The visual symbol of the city is in a constant state of broken. Temple is only a few years removed from complete and total mediocrity, and their strides over the last few years have been admirable, but Friday is not the day to start letting these nocturnal pederasts take that final step. In fact, it will never be time for them to ascend the steps of glory. Because once we take the MAC East within our claws, we will never relinquish it.

Okay RAWRCATZ! now is the time. One more game before we claim our RAWRCATZ! birthright, MAC East champions. With only a final step on the staircase to eternity, let us ascend.

It'll be close, but we're firing with both barrels.

RAWRCATZ - 28 Owls - 20

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